Romance is in the air! Valentine’s day, the culmination of cuffing season, the day of love, is rapidly approaching, bringing with it the anticipation of chocolate, flowers, and perhaps hopes for a steamy evening with a partner or hook-up.
No matter the activities you’ll be partaking in this February 14th, we’d like to draw attention to the most crucial one: obtaining consent.
What is consent? Consent is an agreement communicated between all participants (yes, even if you’re already in an established relationship with them) prior to engaging in sexual activity. There are two important components of consent: it must be given freely, and communicated clearly.
Let’s break it down. Clear consent is the presence of a yes, not just the absence of a no. This is a very important distinction to make, as there are a multitude of reasons as to why an individual may not feel able or comfortable enough to say “no”, and the presence of an affirmative is the only certain indication that the person is comfortable with proceeding.
Next, consent is given freely. This means that an individual that is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or put under pressure by intimidation or threat by another cannot give consent freely, because there are external influences that prevent them from doing so. How does consent work? It’s all about maintaining open lines of communication throughout the entire experience. Consent can be withdrawn at any time in the process if you change your mind, and just because you might’ve been down to do it before doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do it again.
What would obtaining consent look like in action? It doesn’t have to be awkward, or kill the vibe. Who doesn’t like a little dirty talk? Here’s a few ways to ask or phrase consent questions that can definitely be sexy:
“Do you like that?”
“Can I kiss you here?”
“Can you take it off?”
“Would you like it if I…”
“Can we try this?”
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If you want to explore consent in further depth, feel free to click here.
We hope everyone has a wonderful time this Valentine’s Day, and no matter what you get up to, remember that consent is beyond sexy; it’s a must.
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